We have been upgraded, inexplicably to Penang’s glorious Eastern & Oriental Hotel - once the elegant colonial watering hole of Noel Coward and Somerset Maugham and Rudyard Kipling and the like. Preserving the glory of a bygone era, this place offers unimaginable luxury, impeccably mannered butlers and basically anything you could want. I wish my beloved late grandmother Gigi could see us now. She absolutely belongs here, and she so would have loved it.
PS Did I say I was ready for this holiday to end, what the puking and all? I take it back.